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19

Sep

cramp:

fuck you ellen, trying to play me like that, i trusted you, watch your back, this ain’t over

(Source: ellendegeneres)

biitchinnel:

diet-prozac:

Biggest plot twist in history.

I love this so much

(Source: andyclarks)

gordoananke:

midnightthunders:

So… I was giving some jelly to my cat

image

My phone started ringing. Forgetting that I was holding the spoon I took the phone.

I never heard the spoon hitting the floor…

image

image

they are evolving

My little black book. It’s got the numbers of all the guys I’ve dated.

(Source: dcrossgeller)

(Source: BuzzFeed)

pardonmewhileipanic:

mordicaifeed:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

regencyduchess:

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

THEY’RE ALL JUST STARING AND JUDGING

"How rude…this bodyguard just shoved me!"

I want to be this rich and indifferent one day

(Source: shewolfofengland)

orangepenguino:

babygoatsandfriends:

sheth:

babygoatsandfriends:

Bye losers.

Onward, my carriage!  Make haste to the next town!

Haste!!!

Verily these paws don’t touch snow!

(Source: babygoatsandfriends)

(Source: lalulutres)

dita-von:

Dita Von Teese http://dita-von.tumblr.com/
colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

(Source: biencorrect)

(Source: larafae)

(Source: daring-soul)

(Source: wanderer-heart)

(Source: nozhs)